|
|
Draft beer, not people!
"Every now and then when your life gets complicated and the weasels start closing in, the only real cure is to load up on heinous chemicals and then drive like a bastard from Hollywood to Las Vegas."
-- Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
Lady Astor was giving a costume ball and Winston Churchill asked her what disguise she would recommend for him. She said, "Why don't you come sober, Mr. Prime Minister?"
Annual drug deaths: tobacco: 395,000, alcohol: 125,000, 'legal' drugs: 38,000, illegal drug overdoses: 5,200, marijuana: 0. Considering government subsidies of tobacco, just what is our government protecting us from in the drug war?
William A. Turnbow
An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.
Dylan Thomas (1914-1953)
... And malt does more than Milton can
To justify God's ways to man
A. E. Housman
"Water? Never touch the stuff! Fish fuck in it."
W. C. Fields
"Want some pretzels?"
"No thanks, we're on duty. A couple beers would be nice, though."
The Simpsons
A friend of mine stopped smoking, drinking, overeating, and chasing women --all at the same time. It was a lovely funeral.
Festivity Level 1: Your guests are chatting amiably with each other, admiring your Christmas-tree ornaments, singing carols around the upright piano, sipping at their drinks and nibbling hors d'oeuvres.
Festivity Level 2: Your guests are talking loudly -- sometimes to each other, and sometimes to nobody at all, rearranging your Christmas-tree ornaments, singing "I Gotta Be Me" around the upright piano, gulping their drinks and wolfing down hors d'oeuvres.
Festivity Level 3: Your guests are arguing violently with inanimate objects, singing "I can't get no satisfaction," gulping down other peoples' drinks, wolfing down Christmas tree ornaments and placing hors d'oeuvres in the upright piano to see what happens when the little hammers strike.
Festivity Level 4: Your guests, hors d'oeuvres smeared all over their naked bodies are performing a ritual dance around the burning Christmas tree. The piano is missing.
You want to keep your party somewhere around level 3, unless you rent your home and own Firearms, in which case you can go to level 4. The best way to get to level 3 is egg-nog.
A friend with weed is a friend indeed.
Excellent day for drinking heavily. Spike office water cooler.
Acid -- better living through chemistry.
Drugs may be the road to nowhere, but at least they're the scenic route!
I don't have a drinking problem. / I drink / I get drunk / I fall down / No problem
I'm not as think as you stoned I am.
LSD melts in your mind, not in your hands.
You're not really drunk if you can lie on the floor without hanging on.
A night sober is a night wasted, but a night wasted is really fun.
I'm a drunk, not an alcoholic. Alcoholics go to meetings.
I used to have a drug problem, but now I have enough money.
I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs, and insanity for everyone, but it works for me.
Show respect for age. Drink good Scotch for a change.
Drug free school zone is a contradiction in terms.
I'm sick and depraved - please feed me drugs and cookies.
I used to have a drug problem, but now I have enough money.
I'm a hallucinogenic toad. Lick me all over.
Jailing someone to keep them from ruining their life with drugs is like burning a village too save it.
A mind is a wonderful thing to waste.
School-free Drug Zone.
I am under the influence of sugar, caffeine, and lack of sleep, and should not be held responsible for my behavior.
Sleep is great, but its not substitute for caffeine.
"Every now and then when your life gets complicated and the weasels start closing in, the only real cure is to load up on heinous chemicals and then drive like a bastard from Hollywood to Las Vegas."
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
"I wish I'd drunk more champagne."
last words of Lord John Maynard Keynes
"One more drink and I would have been under the host."
Dorothy Parker (1893-1967)
"We've had a realistic drug policy for 20 years in the Netherlands, and we know what works. We distinguish between 'soft' and 'hard' drugs, between traffickers and users. We try not to make people into criminals. But what'll it take to convince the other countries about the high cost of repression? Especially America. Will we have to teach Clinton to inhale, or what? I'd never want to raise my kids in America, with those morality crazies. They probably think we're all perverts. I think *they* are the perverts."
Attorney Mario Lap
Dutch national drug policy advisor
|
|
